If you How Can I Deal After Divorce have experienced or are currently experiencing difficult emotions due to the end of a relationship, you are not alone. Breakup or divorce is one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in life, both for the abandoned person and the one who made the decision to leave. Even if the relationship was good, the divorce / breakup is extremely painful as it means losing not only the relationship but also – and maybe most of all – your shared dreams and future. Breaking up often disturbs YourLatinMates.com a familiar routine, previous relationships with family and friends.
How to Deal After Divorce
It is worth accepting in the first place that laying down your life after divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. It has 3 phases: healing, understanding and transformation.
In the first days, weeks, or even months after breaking up, the most important thing is to “get through the mourning properly.” This time seems to be the most difficult. Most people note that in the initial phase they were dominated by a mixture of shock, depression, helplessness, a feeling of numbness, combined with fear for the future, decreased concentration, strong emotions, crying. This was also often accompanied by: a great need for contact with my ex, a feeling of guilt towards children, lack of appetite or excessive eating, lack of sleep or sleeping all day long.
Divorce and what next? Tips for the first days, weeks, months after divorce
At this stage, the most important thing is to accept your feelings, including sadness. Our natural tendency is to avoid suffering at all costs. However, hastening or suppressing this stage altogether actually has the opposite effect. It makes you feel worse in the long term or you repeat the same mistakes in subsequent relationships. How do you survive this initial phase? Here are some tips.
Take care of yourself and give yourself time – How Can I Deal After Divorce
Some of us, especially women who have to care for children after we break up, may neglect this step. Try to remember about him. Mark up on your calendar, even every other day, 15 minutes to meet with yourself – a personal comfort session where you focus on yourself, your emotions, or breathing and stretching exercises, or whatever you feel will make you stronger. Deep breathing is clearly one of the best ways to calm your mind and create a deep state of relaxation.
Keep a journal
The diary is a useful tool for many people who have divorced or broken up, and I highly recommend it to you as well. It will help you gain better insight into your emotions and improve your self-awareness. It will also reduce stress and obsessive thinking; the simple act of writing down will YourLatinMates clear your mind and lessen your tensions with intrusive thoughts.
Ask for support from friends – How Can I Deal After Divorce
It happens that with the breakup you lose not only your partner, but also some friends or family. Spend some time alone so that you can better understand your emotions and feelings. However, too much of this time can lead to obsessive thoughts – especially if you tend to do so or tend to take the blame. Of course, pay attention to whether your friends are able to give you the right support. Sometimes our loved ones, despite very good intentions, may themselves have a lot of negative beliefs and fears in the area of love.
The second important point is choosing a person who will be able to listen to you without being judged, and at the same time motivate you to change. Many of us are looking for companions in their misery and get stuck for years in complaining together. Such a vision may seem very attractive at first, but in the long run it is toxic to you and your process of change.
Make sure you have a healthy routine – How Can I Deal After Divorce
By “healthy routine” I mean the area of nutrition, sleep and exercise. Take care of him, even if it seems like a big challenge. Putting yourself and your life in a new routine is an extremely important point in the recovery process.
Arranging a new life after divorce – stages
The variety of feelings experienced after divorce can be described as an emotional rollercoaster where many times you may feel completely lost and go through states of calm, faith in the future to complete breakdown and not believing that there is anything good to come in the future.
6 stages of mourning after divorce
Understanding the stages of grief is crucial, not only does it help you better understand yourself and your emotions at the moment, but it also allows for a different quality of new relationships in the future. Many researchers talk about five stages and classify depression separately, but some take it as one of the stages. Remember, you don’t have to complete every stage. Additionally, mourning is rarely linear.
Shock, denial, denial – How Can I Deal After Divorce
If your relationship has ended unexpectedly or you discover that your partner has had affairs, you may be in shock with symptoms similar to those of trauma. Common feelings and reactions related to shock can include numbness, denial, and dissociation – as if it didn’t apply to you and your life. You can recall the last weeks and months before the breakup over and over again, or push away any thoughts related to it. Denial is a perfectly normal, sometimes much needed reaction. Temporary denial gives you time to adjust to the shock and new reality after the loss. It protects against overwhelming and allows you to get used to the new reality.
If you think that your relationship can be saved, How Can I Deal After Divorce that you can change the course of events and convince your partner to come back – you are at the negotiation / bargaining stage. This is the stage where rebuilding your relationship becomes your life mission. You can insist, ask, grovel and take the full blame even if you bear a fraction of it. While this is a natural stage, especially for people who are always fighting for what they care about, it is quite blocking in the long run because you keep opening the wounds and not allowing them to heal. Negotiations may come back from time to time during the recovery stage, the process is not linear.
As the shock and denial wear off, they are often replaced by a very deep and intense feeling of melancholy. Aristotle wrote that crying clears the mind. Feeling and experiencing pain is a prerequisite for recovery.
Often times, sadness alternates with feelings of anger or frustration towards a lost loved one, and we can blame them for leaving. The stages of sadness, anger and negotiation can get mixed up and happen over and over again.
Feeling guilty – How Can I Deal After Divorce
We all feel guilty at times and feel remorse – How Can I Deal After Divorce that’s part of human nature. Even the most self-confident people have times when they question their decisions about their breakup. For some, the decision to leave is as difficult as it is to leave. If you initiated the break-up, even if you had a solid basis for doing so, there is a chance that you will challenge your decision and feel remorse that you have hurt your partner or children.
In some cases, grief turns into depression and requires pharmacological support. If you have been unable to cope with the feeling of loss for a long time and you have trouble maintaining a healthy routine (sleep, nutrition), get help from a specialist! Sometimes this is the only way to come out of grief and rebuild your life after a breakup.
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Acceptance – How Can I Deal After Divorce
Acceptance and hope for a new life are the final stage of mourning. Accepting the loss is part of the process where you finally start to feel good about. The loss and are fully ready to move forward and enjoy your new reality. At this stage, you can talk about loss without strong emotions. You no longer need to contact an exporter / exporter, and you are not looking for explanations on his / her part. You may have moments of sadness or regret. But it’s more like nostalgia, memories of what was good. And you don’t have sad thoughts of loss.